Portuguese version is here :)
I believe that when we talk about literary creations, the world is divided into three groups:
· The happy ones who never wanted to write a book.
· Those also happy who have already published their words.
· And those who want to write but have no idea how to make it happens.
I am clearly part of the third group and this text should be called “I don't know how to write a book”, after all, if your expectation with the original title was to read my journey until having my work printed, I am sorry to say that I am far from it.
This text, Sunshines, is about the limbo of writers without a book – another title that would do even more justice to the content.
I feel that today I am on the edge of the literary abyss, craving to feel the sensation of free fall, but hesitating. I look down and think: "Hum…there's no way to do that..."
But don't feel pity. I imagine that you - as well as every kind of advice for writers I've seen - must be thinking:
Sit down and write!
🤡
I've already done it. The first chapters of my book have been written a few times. I even started a blog once to post it and force myself to keep going without getting stuck in a thousand revisions. It is never good enough, right?
Like every good writer-who-has-not-published-yet, I have my main work – sounds fancy saying “main work” – called “The Tales of Greenfar” and other great ideas, like a children's mystery book based on an old hotel in Minas Gerais - Brazil, and at least two more well-humored books about work, leadership and career.
Because in the mind of the author-who-is-not-yet, all ideas are great, elaborate and well-founded. The world does not yet know them, due to simple obstacles along the way: writing, revising and publishing. Nothing important.
“But Lili, with so many ideas, why don't you plan the books? Organize the main ideas and then write.”
I already did that too.
For Greenfar I have a notebook and lots of notes about character descriptions, timeline, chapter structure, etc. It looks promising, but it's a big mess and more of a hindrance than a help. It's more than 15 years having ideas 😳
For the first book about work, we also have something planned! I made an organizational chart of chapters. Beautiful thing, but I never went back to it.
Oh! It is important to mention that every writer-who-just-needs-to-begin envisions several books, because imagination is something the class does not lack.
We have now arrived at the final hurdle.
The most accepted excuse by society and by ourselves for not writing a book. With it, any potential bestseller author can quiet their inner creative monster and sleep one more night in peace without the book getting out of their head.
"I have no time."
This sentence decrees the closure of any action plan, even before it begins.
Society seems numb when it comes to time – a self-imposed lethargy by the belief that our constant busyness is something unchangeable.
The text could end here, but I have bad news for those who accept the busy schedule as the end of dreams.
I have time to write. I can't accommodate myself in the warmth of this excuse.
I spent the last 6 years of my professional life chasing and polishing a work format that would allow me to be the owner of my time – and with that, I have no one to blame if my schedule gets full.
“So you have ideas, will, planning and time?”
Yep.
Apparently I have everything. Maybe I lack understanding of the literary market (something that is probably sold in pharmacies for those who already have a book written), but, in addition, I lack the glue that holds these four elements together.
I think it is a lack of courage.
Courage to dedicate so much of my precious time to something that could go wrong.
Courage to express myself with the words I have and seem childish or poorly written.
Courage to seek my livelihood from my writing.
Courage to assume when a chapter is bad and even more courage to be proud when something turns out good.
Courage to admit to the world that my main title is a writer. And nothing else.
The literary abyss is still here in front of me. The breeze is fresh, and the view is beautiful, but I haven't made the jump yet. Perhaps you are also in this place, here by my side. I hope one of us jumps in soon and comes back to tell how to make it happen.
And so we can jump many, many more times.
Even tough this text was written on 19-12-22, the publication of it today was symbolic for a week in which I made many decisions:
The first is to finish the book. I'm not going to say "start" anymore, because I've done this many times. Now it's time to go all the way.
The second is to publish the chronicles no longer weekly, but every two weeks. I love this space, but writing, editing and translating takes time...and well, you already know: I need to invest in the “main work”.
And finally, Liliando is now a chronicle and nothing else. It may be that in the future the other sections will return, but for now, let's keep the focus, all right?
See you!
Remember: english is not my native language! This is a translated version of Liliando in portuguese. If you see any major mistake, please be kind and just let me know!