I came across the image above, and it resonated in so many places inside me, it was impossible not to write about. I've had many conversations with very talented people who have no idea how good they are. The most common thought is:
“If it is so easy for me to do this, it must be for others too.”
No, Sunshine. For others, it's a huge mountain to climb, while for you, it's as simple as changing clothes. And just because it's easy doesn't mean it's not valuable, important or excellent.
And that applies to any talent. From having the ability to learn Excel to dealing with maternity struggles. The point is: it's usually much easier for OTHERS to recognize our strengths than ourselves. Not to mention that it can take time to mature our skills.
“So we need experience and still have friends who are attentive (and preferably go to a therapist) so that we have a chance of recognizing what we are good at?!”
Yeah. I didn't say it was easy. But therapy can help. Always.
And that's not all, there is so much imposter syndrome out there that even with experience and people screaming in your ear what you're good at, a lot of people still don't see it. Or do not believe ☹
But there are reasons for this to happen. And the first one is kind of obvious.
We compare
Imagine you work on an initiative to support vulnerable women. You raised almost 1.5 million dollars in partnerships and donations. You exude eloquence, persuasion and business acumen. But one day, in a family reunion, your uncle says: “But your cousin Joana was approved for the specialization course in heart surgery.”
😐
Screw that you're a talented leader. Screw that your communication is way above average. It doesn't matter if you motivate yourself with high-impact actions for lots of people.
You don't have Joana's discipline for studying. You don't have her love for math. You even start thinking that if Joana did your job, she would raise twice as much and even appear in National Television.
And it's not Joana's fault for having a vocation that is more “accepted” by society. Perhaps your uncle, who may have a limited view of the world, has a twinge of guilt for making this unfortunate comment, but there is a part of this pain that is your, and that is the reason we must strengthen ourselves not to succumb to these comparisons.
Because the world will compare us and we need to know our value and seek less and less acceptance or validation from others.
The second reason that keeps us from recognizing our superpowers makes me shake just like a Chihuahua in rage.
The talents society accepts
Last week, I found someone on Instagram who made a series of videos about places on Earth that don't seem to be in this planet. Islands, glaciers, deserts... each place was so different in climate, geography, flora, fauna. In addition, this big world currently comprises 8 billion individuals.
Then you want to convince me that everyone has to be a doctor, engineer, lawyer, and now a software developer?!
Go to hell!
Human life needs these jobs, but also farmers, dancers, cooks, writers, photographers, biologists, historians, athletes, musicians, chemists.
We need a LOT more people outside offices than inside, you know that?
We need caregivers, pilots, gardeners, veterinarians, potters, bakers, artists, divers, a huge list of jobs that require specific talents and not an advanced level of Microsoft Office Suite.
And then if your talent, your vocation, your passion, is out of LinkedIn's opportunities list, you can fall into the trap of settling for a mediocre life, desperately seeking to meet this “ideal path”.
“Wow, Lili, but I have to pay the bills, right?”
And who said you can't make money with what you do easily?
Or: who said you don't deserve to make money from it?
🤯
I will stop now because I know this is a very dense question, and maybe you're still struggling with discovering your talents. No problem. One thing at a time.
I really hope you find your element, your superpower, that special thing that when you do, it is so pleasurable you don't even notice how much good you leave in the world.
Ps: I dedicate this text to all my ridiculously talented friends. You know who you are 💙
🎁A recommendation and a tip
I started reading a book that I looked for a lot in Brazil before coming to Denmark (without success) and I was lucky to find a copy here where we are living. It's called "The Little Book of Hygge":
If you search for “Denmark” on Google, you will probably find a word that is difficult to pronounce and which, like “saudade” in Portuguese, does not have a decent definition. It's a state of mind related to comfort, security and well-being. It's what you feel when you sit in a comfortable chair, with a blanket, a hot drink and a book.
The author is from the Happiness Research Institute in Copenhagen, and he explains how to create hygge in your life. The coolest thing is that it can be applied anywhere in the world and it's very simple.
The thing is: hygge has a lot of derivations. You can have a hygge moment, a hygge meal, a hygge place, a hygge summer…all to create a nice and relaxing atmosphere.
In addition to talking about the importance of light (and why Denmark has such famous lighting designers), food, clothes, home, etc., he tells some interesting stories and gives some tips. One of them caught my attention in the chapter about Clothes:
Hygge tip: How to buy
Link purchases with good experiences. I had saved money for a new favorite chair but waited until I had published my first book to get it. That way, the chair reminds me of something that was an important accomplishment for me. We can apply the same thing to that special sweater or that pair of nice wollen socks. Save for them - but wait until you have that really hyggelig experience: you want to be reminded of it when you pull them on.That seemed wise to me, distancing ourselves from reckless consumption and creating meaning in what we buy. I'm still going to talk more about hygge, but I think appreciating the little things is also implicit in its meaning.
🇩🇰📷 Meanwhile in the Kingdom of Denmark
As I already wrote a lot today, let's just go with images:
I found oranges (or was it tangerines?) almost the size of my hand.
I ate one of the best smørrebrød ever (bread with something on top, super typical). Chicken, bacon, herbs and everything nice.
I had a fabulous blue juice - banana, spirulina, coconut milk and rice. And a little magic (it's on the label).
Today I took new photos for the second edition of “You would have?” about the dubious differentiated design of Denmark. Coming soon here or on Instagram, I don't know yet :D
See you in the next news!
Remember: english is not my native language! This is a translated version of Liliando in portuguese. If you see any major mistake, please be kind and just let me know!